My Stalking Hell Continues In November 2022

 Today started as a normal day for me but quickly became a nightmare,

The postman delivered the post and there it was a very  familiar writing on the envelope.

I opened it carefully as previously he has sent a human waste in his letters. This time it was a birthday card as it’s not dreadful long until my birthday.  Happy Birthday it said when I opened the card it was a photo of a naked man with a condom. What a joy getting this I immediately gave it to my lawyer.

I hate this individual as he has stalked me for over 30 years, making my life a living hell. I had sincerely hoped that he would not be stupid enough to send me anything but he was.

I now intend to do everything in my power to get a court order to prevent him from approaching me harassing me.

This man is dangerous. He is a sex offender. He has been jailed for sex crimes of underage children. He has been jailed  for holding people at gunpoint, trying to shoot a police officer, shooting a police officer at a different time and threatening a judge in England and his family, and  holding up a very prestigious London Store.

He also held up a money shop in Hyde park and made off with a lot of money. He also claimed to belong to a terrorist organisation that does not exist.

He phone the metropolitan police to inform them he had left bombs at important landmarks.

The police did not think he was credible as his organisation did not exist. On finally being captured for the other crimes he got ten years in an English Prison.

I know he has been released for a while now and today scared me as I think he is coming for me again.

HOW TERRIFYING STALKING REALLY IS FOR VICTIMS

 There is something missing from the voice of a victim. Having spent 32 years being stalked by the same person. It started when I was about 18 this person would attend the same college as me and follow me home.

My dad passed away in September 1987 and still my stalker kept attending the house when my family were racked with grief and sadness he kept it up. I understand now this had been going on a lot longer that I realised.

I throughout the years got parcels sent  to me with  tubs of human waste and medication and photos  of what I can only assume were his private parts. At one point I went into hiding to attempt to shake him off.     I felt completely at peace and safe at this amazing place I stayed a Buddhist retreat in Scotland called https://www.samyeling.org/  the only place I ever felt safe and peaceful.

  For legal reasons I cannot name my stalker so we will refer to him as X because stories about him maybe the catalyst for increased activity from him, which shows how my story- like many woman’s - does not yet have an ending.

“It was important for me to remove any sensationalism of my situation as much as possible. ( I also don’t want ) the drama to be about the stalker, and what he did.  This needs to be about the emotional landscape.” I wonder if I’ll ever have it ( the way I wanted it to). My fear is I will not have control over important areas of the story, especially when  it involves  a very specific danger.” When people think of stalkers, they probably think of people who hang around street corners. But the reality is so very different. Many stalkers are very violent but can in certain situations come across as very charming to give the person a false sense of security. The whole process of dealing with a stalker is very traumatic and intense. I want woman to use whatever tools they can access smartly, not to be blind or tentative, not to be afraid to ask for help or to report it. For myself the anger I have carried is so exhausting I don’t have all the answers to dealing with the trauma’ but I want to maybe use the anger to help to make a difference. 

Religion And Stalking

My own issue is how do you ever know what is right, being a victim of stalking is hard feeling confident enough to be involved in other things is really hard. I found out I need to step back and receive my own counselling before I can really move on from all that has happened to me.

Stalking will always be a part of my life and I and people who know me just have to accept me for who I am not for what they want me to be.

My life has been completely ruined my this man’s pursuit of me and his inability to let me go as a result my friendships have been ruined and my church thinks there is something not right about me. It’s not right that others have to suffer because they know me. I need to deal with my issues before subjecting others to them.

My church is the vineyard church in Kirkcaldy fife Scotland you could not get a nicer bunch of people nor a better church so to protect them I need to move away until my life is in a better place.

Looking at my journal from years ago I can see how far I have come. I am no longer so mad that I was always in trouble with the law and always drinking because that was my only way of coping.

I struggle every day to understand why me why being nice to someone only brought 32 years of hell. I have the love and support of a truly loving man who has changed my life. We have both come to realise that we need to move to the USA and start a new chapter in a country where you can truly be free.

Refer to my other post for links here and abroad where you can get help.

BEING A VICTIM OF STALKING IS DREADFUL

                                      I HAVE BEEN IN DENIAL 

I have tried to ignore the fact my stalker is once again waking out of Jail.  I was horrified to find out he was getting out early on Wednesday 31st August 20/22 the time he is locked up it peaceful as he has no access to computer or phone as he is a category one sex offender he cannot get access to social media devices.

He will indeed be on probation but that makes no difference to me as if he wanted to contact me he would do so my slight worry is the  day after he gets out is September 1st. Many years ago when he first produced a gun and helped me at gunpoint for nine hours that was on the 1st of September he thinks of that as an  anniversary and made  quite serious threats in court regarding that date and dates and after that date  so the concern is always there with me for a week or two after that date as to what’s going to happen next.

I have chosen to forgive him for all the hurt he caused me and for making me disabled if I did not forgive him I could not move on with my life.

Forgiving is  not forgetting I cannot ever forget as I have to be aware of my surroundings when he is out of jail yes I’m scared that he’s going to hurt me again.  I have to trust in prayer and in God that things will be alright and he will get the help he needs and that he will not hurt me again.  Until this week I was not sure about prayer until something astonishing happened this week I had an injury I still do you have an Injury but it  is so much better thanks to people for praying for me at my church I can’t be more thankful that they took the time to do that for me and I can’t be more thankful to God that worked I was always Someone who needed proof I have it now I will never disbelieve again.

I’m very thankful for the people in my church who are my friends and for the pastor  who leads this wonderful church. I’m not going to name the Church on here as I have a responsibility to ensure the safety of others. I take that responsibility seriously I would like to tell my Church but I would scare them with this and that’s not what I want so I will deal with this on my own and hopefully the gods help. I will link organisations below Who anybody continue to help and advice from. The first link under here will also take you to a page if you’re an international resident or visitor that needs help so that would be the first link I will say one thing please contact your local police department if you have any concerns of somebody following you or if you’re told feel unhappy about the situation you’re in.

https://www.actionagainststalking.org/

https://victimsupport.scot/

https://www.gov.uk/report-stalker

https://www.scotland.police.uk/advice-and-information/domestic-abuse/

https://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/

MY STALKING HELL CONTINUES

Today I realised how long my stalkers obsession with me has been. I found out today that he met me when I was a younger than I thought. He got himself into the same school with me and followed me around various places I had been and worked 

He was under the impression that I actually noticed him which was not the case. He said that in the science class he looked at me and I smiled and he took that as a signal that I liked him. He said that was the day he knew he loved me. If I’m being perfectly honest I don’t even remember him from there.

I was stunned that he had gone to so much trouble to follow me around a lot longer than I had thought he A simple smile many years ago brought 40 years of total obsessional behaviour from him.  He appears to still be under the impression that if he tries hard enough he Will snare  me that was not something I wanted to hear. He also made some wild claims that I had stabbed him as a child in a classroom totally untrue  I know his  obsession is  dangerous.

In court a forensic psychiatrist said he was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and delusions of grandeur.

Apparently when he takes his medication his schizophrenia is more or less under control but there is no law that can force someone even someone who is mentally ill to take medication even in the hospital they can’t force them.  I would be asking is that not putting the public in danger from people who are mentally ill and refuse to take the medication.

I had hoped today I would’ve heard he got a substantial custodial sentence unfortunately that was not the case from what I have been told today he got 6 months.

I was also told he intends to appeal.

The case he was in court for a matter similar to what he has done to me.

To be very clear this particular case had nothing to do with me this case it is a different matter.

Under certain circumstances people who have previously been involved in a case of this kind of nature can indeed be informed by witness participation when a stalker or an abuser is released from prison or when they’re back in prison.

I have requested for records to be released for me to read that’s how I found out that he knew me much earlier then I realised it was very disturbing information as I honestly do not recall him from school.

I will link organisations below that  will be able to help Anyone who needs help the last link is to repot harassment I am from Scotland and I’m on the link in Scottish organisations if you need help throughout the UK or other countries please go to the first link on my page as they will be able to provide you with the assistance of the direction that you need.

https://www.actionagainststalking.org/ 

https://womensaid.scot/

https://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/

https://www.scotland.police.uk/advice-and-information/domestic-abuse/

https://www.scotland.police.uk/advice-and-information/stalking/

https://www.askthe.scottish.police.uk/view-category/?id=689a9f6a-06f6-eb11-94ef-002248405a51