HOW TERRIFYING STALKING REALLY IS FOR VICTIMS

 There is something missing from the voice of a victim. Having spent 32 years being stalked by the same person. It started when I was about 18 this person would attend the same college as me and follow me home.

My dad passed away in September 1987 and still my stalker kept attending the house when my family were racked with grief and sadness he kept it up. I understand now this had been going on a lot longer that I realised.

I throughout the years got parcels sent  to me with  tubs of human waste and medication and photos  of what I can only assume were his private parts. At one point I went into hiding to attempt to shake him off.     I felt completely at peace and safe at this amazing place I stayed a Buddhist retreat in Scotland called https://www.samyeling.org/  the only place I ever felt safe and peaceful.

  For legal reasons I cannot name my stalker so we will refer to him as X because stories about him maybe the catalyst for increased activity from him, which shows how my story- like many woman’s - does not yet have an ending.

“It was important for me to remove any sensationalism of my situation as much as possible. ( I also don’t want ) the drama to be about the stalker, and what he did.  This needs to be about the emotional landscape.” I wonder if I’ll ever have it ( the way I wanted it to). My fear is I will not have control over important areas of the story, especially when  it involves  a very specific danger.” When people think of stalkers, they probably think of people who hang around street corners. But the reality is so very different. Many stalkers are very violent but can in certain situations come across as very charming to give the person a false sense of security. The whole process of dealing with a stalker is very traumatic and intense. I want woman to use whatever tools they can access smartly, not to be blind or tentative, not to be afraid to ask for help or to report it. For myself the anger I have carried is so exhausting I don’t have all the answers to dealing with the trauma’ but I want to maybe use the anger to help to make a difference. 

Religion And Stalking

My own issue is how do you ever know what is right, being a victim of stalking is hard feeling confident enough to be involved in other things is really hard. I found out I need to step back and receive my own counselling before I can really move on from all that has happened to me.

Stalking will always be a part of my life and I and people who know me just have to accept me for who I am not for what they want me to be.

My life has been completely ruined my this man’s pursuit of me and his inability to let me go as a result my friendships have been ruined and my church thinks there is something not right about me. It’s not right that others have to suffer because they know me. I need to deal with my issues before subjecting others to them.

My church is the vineyard church in Kirkcaldy fife Scotland you could not get a nicer bunch of people nor a better church so to protect them I need to move away until my life is in a better place.

Looking at my journal from years ago I can see how far I have come. I am no longer so mad that I was always in trouble with the law and always drinking because that was my only way of coping.

I struggle every day to understand why me why being nice to someone only brought 32 years of hell. I have the love and support of a truly loving man who has changed my life. We have both come to realise that we need to move to the USA and start a new chapter in a country where you can truly be free.

Refer to my other post for links here and abroad where you can get help.