HOW TERRIFYING STALKING REALLY IS FOR VICTIMS

 There is something missing from the voice of a victim. Having spent 32 years being stalked by the same person. It started when I was about 18 this person would attend the same college as me and follow me home.

My dad passed away in September 1987 and still my stalker kept attending the house when my family were racked with grief and sadness he kept it up. I understand now this had been going on a lot longer that I realised.

I throughout the years got parcels sent  to me with  tubs of human waste and medication and photos  of what I can only assume were his private parts. At one point I went into hiding to attempt to shake him off.     I felt completely at peace and safe at this amazing place I stayed a Buddhist retreat in Scotland called https://www.samyeling.org/  the only place I ever felt safe and peaceful.

  For legal reasons I cannot name my stalker so we will refer to him as X because stories about him maybe the catalyst for increased activity from him, which shows how my story- like many woman’s - does not yet have an ending.

“It was important for me to remove any sensationalism of my situation as much as possible. ( I also don’t want ) the drama to be about the stalker, and what he did.  This needs to be about the emotional landscape.” I wonder if I’ll ever have it ( the way I wanted it to). My fear is I will not have control over important areas of the story, especially when  it involves  a very specific danger.” When people think of stalkers, they probably think of people who hang around street corners. But the reality is so very different. Many stalkers are very violent but can in certain situations come across as very charming to give the person a false sense of security. The whole process of dealing with a stalker is very traumatic and intense. I want woman to use whatever tools they can access smartly, not to be blind or tentative, not to be afraid to ask for help or to report it. For myself the anger I have carried is so exhausting I don’t have all the answers to dealing with the trauma’ but I want to maybe use the anger to help to make a difference. 

Religion And Stalking

My own issue is how do you ever know what is right, being a victim of stalking is hard feeling confident enough to be involved in other things is really hard. I found out I need to step back and receive my own counselling before I can really move on from all that has happened to me.

Stalking will always be a part of my life and I and people who know me just have to accept me for who I am not for what they want me to be.

My life has been completely ruined my this man’s pursuit of me and his inability to let me go as a result my friendships have been ruined and my church thinks there is something not right about me. It’s not right that others have to suffer because they know me. I need to deal with my issues before subjecting others to them.

My church is the vineyard church in Kirkcaldy fife Scotland you could not get a nicer bunch of people nor a better church so to protect them I need to move away until my life is in a better place.

Looking at my journal from years ago I can see how far I have come. I am no longer so mad that I was always in trouble with the law and always drinking because that was my only way of coping.

I struggle every day to understand why me why being nice to someone only brought 32 years of hell. I have the love and support of a truly loving man who has changed my life. We have both come to realise that we need to move to the USA and start a new chapter in a country where you can truly be free.

Refer to my other post for links here and abroad where you can get help.

BEING A VICTIM OF STALKING IS DREADFUL

                                      I HAVE BEEN IN DENIAL 

I have tried to ignore the fact my stalker is once again waking out of Jail.  I was horrified to find out he was getting out early on Wednesday 31st August 20/22 the time he is locked up it peaceful as he has no access to computer or phone as he is a category one sex offender he cannot get access to social media devices.

He will indeed be on probation but that makes no difference to me as if he wanted to contact me he would do so my slight worry is the  day after he gets out is September 1st. Many years ago when he first produced a gun and helped me at gunpoint for nine hours that was on the 1st of September he thinks of that as an  anniversary and made  quite serious threats in court regarding that date and dates and after that date  so the concern is always there with me for a week or two after that date as to what’s going to happen next.

I have chosen to forgive him for all the hurt he caused me and for making me disabled if I did not forgive him I could not move on with my life.

Forgiving is  not forgetting I cannot ever forget as I have to be aware of my surroundings when he is out of jail yes I’m scared that he’s going to hurt me again.  I have to trust in prayer and in God that things will be alright and he will get the help he needs and that he will not hurt me again.  Until this week I was not sure about prayer until something astonishing happened this week I had an injury I still do you have an Injury but it  is so much better thanks to people for praying for me at my church I can’t be more thankful that they took the time to do that for me and I can’t be more thankful to God that worked I was always Someone who needed proof I have it now I will never disbelieve again.

I’m very thankful for the people in my church who are my friends and for the pastor  who leads this wonderful church. I’m not going to name the Church on here as I have a responsibility to ensure the safety of others. I take that responsibility seriously I would like to tell my Church but I would scare them with this and that’s not what I want so I will deal with this on my own and hopefully the gods help. I will link organisations below Who anybody continue to help and advice from. The first link under here will also take you to a page if you’re an international resident or visitor that needs help so that would be the first link I will say one thing please contact your local police department if you have any concerns of somebody following you or if you’re told feel unhappy about the situation you’re in.

https://www.actionagainststalking.org/

https://victimsupport.scot/

https://www.gov.uk/report-stalker

https://www.scotland.police.uk/advice-and-information/domestic-abuse/

https://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/

MY STALKING HELL CONTINUES

Today I realised how long my stalkers obsession with me has been. I found out today that he met me when I was a younger than I thought. He got himself into the same school with me and followed me around various places I had been and worked 

He was under the impression that I actually noticed him which was not the case. He said that in the science class he looked at me and I smiled and he took that as a signal that I liked him. He said that was the day he knew he loved me. If I’m being perfectly honest I don’t even remember him from there.

I was stunned that he had gone to so much trouble to follow me around a lot longer than I had thought he A simple smile many years ago brought 40 years of total obsessional behaviour from him.  He appears to still be under the impression that if he tries hard enough he Will snare  me that was not something I wanted to hear. He also made some wild claims that I had stabbed him as a child in a classroom totally untrue  I know his  obsession is  dangerous.

In court a forensic psychiatrist said he was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and delusions of grandeur.

Apparently when he takes his medication his schizophrenia is more or less under control but there is no law that can force someone even someone who is mentally ill to take medication even in the hospital they can’t force them.  I would be asking is that not putting the public in danger from people who are mentally ill and refuse to take the medication.

I had hoped today I would’ve heard he got a substantial custodial sentence unfortunately that was not the case from what I have been told today he got 6 months.

I was also told he intends to appeal.

The case he was in court for a matter similar to what he has done to me.

To be very clear this particular case had nothing to do with me this case it is a different matter.

Under certain circumstances people who have previously been involved in a case of this kind of nature can indeed be informed by witness participation when a stalker or an abuser is released from prison or when they’re back in prison.

I have requested for records to be released for me to read that’s how I found out that he knew me much earlier then I realised it was very disturbing information as I honestly do not recall him from school.

I will link organisations below that  will be able to help Anyone who needs help the last link is to repot harassment I am from Scotland and I’m on the link in Scottish organisations if you need help throughout the UK or other countries please go to the first link on my page as they will be able to provide you with the assistance of the direction that you need.

https://www.actionagainststalking.org/ 

https://womensaid.scot/

https://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/

https://www.scotland.police.uk/advice-and-information/domestic-abuse/

https://www.scotland.police.uk/advice-and-information/stalking/

https://www.askthe.scottish.police.uk/view-category/?id=689a9f6a-06f6-eb11-94ef-002248405a51

 

STALKER HAS RUINED MY LIFE

 I came to the realisation today that I’m never going to be free of this Stalking  has ruined my life and will continue to if I allow it to. Right now I don’t know where to go from here.

Everybody every place and everything is ruined by this friend,family,churches. 

Everything I like and love it taken from me because other people cannot cope with the knowledge or fear that I deal with everyday.

I have 2 Stalkers one who is violent and very dangerous the other a woman I met in the Mormon  church  many years ago unlike the 1st one she focuses on her computer skills to hack people to cyber Salcombe and to make malicious emails to other people pretending to be other people my friend and I have had a lot of problems this woman she’s very manipulative and she has a psychiatric Illness which makes her behave the way she does she think she is very important and she thinks that she has got to be centre of attention all the time.

Only recentlillness which makes her behave the way she does she think she is very important and she thinks that she has got to be centre of attention all the time. Only recently did I discover that the first stalker I have who I must’ve met I blamed for a lot that has happened recently what I was not told what contact me to somebody or somewhere was made by email that was not David that was her pretending to be him.

How do I known first that contact was made by email I would’ve immediately known it wasn’t David he doesn’t email he will write to you or he will attend in person but he will never email in the 33 years he has stalked me never once has he contacted me by email. He also has never called me by my name.

I’ve been much more concerned about the female she’s a very manipulative nasty kind of person she has had me imprisoned for a week with false allegations.

 She has stalked a psychologist and made his life and his family‘s life hell. She was arrested and charged and sectioned under the mental health act for all of that.

it is not just I she targets it is a very good friend of mine that has constantly been targeted by this female I did not know she would go as far as trying to contact people I knew they don’t know about her they only knew about the first one and after the reaction I got was that I will never tell them about the second one.

It’s once again old years night and tomorrow will be a New Year I can only hope for myself and for everybody else that 2022 will be a good Year.

Anyone who is suffering from stalking or any other type of abuse please click the link below to see what help you can get.

If anyone needs help please contact https://www.actionagainststalking.org/

https://www.thefreelibrary.com/Lying+stalker+has+taken+out+a+court+ban+just+so+he+can+torment+me...-a058742158 

https://www.thefreelibrary.com/Lying+stalker+has+taken+out+a+court+ban+just+so+he+can+torment+me...-a0587421585

http://www.womansaid.co.uk/

What’s the difference between Sociopathy and psychopathy

 Sociopathy it’s a mental health condition that is believed to affect approximately one to 4% of adults, and there’s more common in men than women, some doctors say it’s much more prevalent. While the term Sociopathy it’s not used medically to describe a mental health condition - The closest diagnosis is antisocial personality disorder. 

Lack of Empathy 

When a person is unable to understand the feelings of others is probably the most well known behaviours of a sociopath.  The individual may be oblivious to the feelings or concerns of other people which makes it easy for them to manipulate others for their own gain.

When we hurt others they tend to not feel any guilt or shame or remorse  for the actions this is because they can’t place them self in someone else’s shoes or imagine how someone who’s hurting might be suffering. 

Cold Nature 

Due to their limited ability to experience emotion and empathy, people with sociopathy May come across as being cold.  They may demonstrate this by not showing emotions on investment in the lives of others. They will easily take advantage of those around them.

Narcissistic 

While narcissism is a personality disorder and self it is also a common trait among sociopaths.  It is hard not to notice narcissistic behaviours as the individual will demonstrate strong love and admiration towards Themselves They tend to have a huge sense of entitlement and also they tend to blame others for their own failures.

Charming

Upon first meeting a sociopath you might actually find them to be quite charming this is because when the sociopath is unable to understand the emotions of others they are right rather highly adept at mimicking them. 

They are masters of disguise the main tool to keep them from being discovered as a creation of another personality.” Sounds terrifying! 

7 Common  Signs Of  Psychopathy 

 Socially irresponsible behaviour.

Disregarding or violating the rights of others.

Inability to distinguish between right or wrong.

Difficulty with showing remorse or empathy.

Tendency to lie often.

Manipulating and hurting others.

Recurring problems with the law.

IN MEMORY OF MUM

 My mum died on the 25th of May 2020 of dementia I’m doing a short story on how my mum impacted my life and what she did for me.

My mum was born on the 12th of March 1927 she was born in a Fife town called Thornton she was born to Margaret and Jim Taylor who are my Gran and grandad and her sister Jesse they both had a good life with their mum and dad they maybe didn’t have much. but gran never let it show that her life was hard when World War Two was on.

My grandad Jim Taylor drove trains the old steam trains.

Mum had several jobs but the first big job she got was with a company in Kirkcaldy called James gentle and son chartered quantity surveyors mum was a proof reader right into her elderly years you could not make a mistake or mum would pick holes in it.    

 when my solicitor wrote to me once my  mum picked holes in  the letter within seconds telling me that all the grammar errors and bad spelling and that was from the lawyers office.

Mum and dad thought they could not have children so they adopted me at the age of five months only then to discover they were  pregnant with my sister. 

Mum being such a remarkable woman told no one she was expecting in case they stopped  the adoption.

She  only told people after the adoption of legally through the courts.

 Knowing she was having her biological child she could easily have discarded me but she didn’t she loved me unconditionally and never made a difference between my sister and I.

As a child I was not an easy child they thought I had learning disability  which turned out not to be true. 

My teenage years were difficult I broke the law more than once and alcohol was my best friend. Throughout everything I did wrong my mum stood by my side and supported me unconditionally.   For me to have a mum like her was amazing she to me was one in 1 million.

She struggled through life with a hairclip and cleft palate which was never fixed. But 30 years ago she was discovered to have Temporal arteritis which left her with  peripheral vision in one eye and numerous other health issues that came with this condition. 

Mum just got on With it you  would never of known that she had pins and needles on her feet 24 seven and could not feel her feet as she walked faster than most.

My mum was an inspiration to me she taught me how to live on my own how to cope when the time came that I would lose her what to do and what not to do more what not to do.

I will be forever grateful to God for allowing me to have this woman my mum in my life because she was quite frankly a gift from God to me.

God bless everyone who reads this and I wish you well.